Ima Born!

Hello everyone, my name is Ima Toon. I live in the world of http://www.kingdomofloathing.com. Today, I was born. Or, I think that's what happened. I am fully grown and all. Odd that.

Anyway, I woke up with no memories but my name, in this rocky crag on the side of a mountian. I was sorta confused. I just sat there a moment, then this bright flash of color caught my eye. It was near the top of the mountain. With nothing better to do, I started climbing.

On the top of the mountain, the colors revealed themselves to be a bright little.. bird. Imagine my suprise when the thing looked at me and spoke!

First he tells me something about numbers.. Ive never been good with numbers. I kinda didnt pay attention. Then he tells me he hid some pebbles and wants me to find them. Sounds like a stupid bird, but again, I have nothing better to do.

I looked in this cave, I guess I was still in a stupor of some sort. First thing I did was drink from a puddle, but it was pretty good water. Next, I saw some ogre, and decided I didnt want to see it, so I left the area. Then I came acrost some crates blocking my path, and had a sudden memory of something called a "fonzie" and broke them. Interesting cave so far.

After a minor cave in, I found the stupid pebbles for the stupid bird. Guess what? He wanted another favor! What a mooch!!

So down I go, beating up poor helpless bunnies because this bird cant do his own hunting. At least he shared his food with me.. although Im not sure that was a good thing. Then he told me how to get things from the hermit.. guess what? Things for HIM. Next, he had me fix his stupid toy. Stupid lazy bird making me do all his work! I finally decided Id had enough and went wandering to find my own adventure.

So, I wandered all over, fighting my way through some plains, beating on some random gobliny things that tried to kill me just for getting too close. I discovered that, true to the old movies, goblins HATE music. I played my accordian and laughed as they covered thier ears and howled. I stole a hat and tongs from a chef, and some pants. Yes, I stole pants. And they fit.

At last I found a town. Yay! Civilization! I headed right to the city center, and the council. What was the first thing that happened to me there? I was asked to do .... you guessed it.. another FAVOR! *sigh* I suppose this world will be all about me doing favors for others.

The council informed me that fighting the goblins had made me "level 2" and now I was strong enough to help them find a bug larva. Ew. So away I went to the forest to find a bug. Ew.

It was pretty simple really. A wild animal came at me, but I bonked him on the nose with my tongs, and he ran away. The very next section of woods had a little stagnent pond with the larva. I gathered some up in a little jar *ew* and brought it back to the council.

After all that, they told me to keep the icky things. I was given money for a little cage to keep pets in. I decided Id do it just so I didnt have to carry that gross jar anymore. When I put the larva in the cage, it hatched into a flying bug. I tried to walk away, but it kept following me. Ew.

I wandered back into the woods, curiouse what else I may find. I was attacked by a terrible creature, and amazingly, the bug that was following me helped me fight. I decided to keep it and name it "Ickypoo".

Later, I was wandering around town when I came acrost this pantry door just sort of sticking out and open. I ventured in (that curiousity is going to get me in trouble one day) and discovered all kinds of haunted objects, mostly canned goods. These, naturally, attacked me.

At one point, as I was fighting for my life, a baker came along and handed me a cake, asking me to get the candles lit. What?? I'm fighting for my life here, pal. Sheesh. Will the lazyness never end? So I take the cake (I swear I only tasted the frosting once) and set out in search of a way to light the candles, which seemed immune to matches.

I think this quest was starting to drive me insane, at one point, I came upon what I swear was a very handsome prince in a crown. I ran up to him, still holding my cake, and layed a smooch on his lips, hoping he would save me from this place. Turns out, he was actually a goblin chef, and he sprayed me with magical fire. Viola! Cake candles lit! I returned it to the crazy in the pantry, and he actually rewarded me for my efforts. At last, someone who respects me.

I also came upon a poor goblin who had stubbed his toe. He asked me to bring him something for the pain, get this, he PAID for it in advance.

I lay down to rest, and this ghost pops up and hands me a map. Huh?? I think it was a dream, but the map is still in my backpack. How bizzare.

I went back to town, and found something called the Haiku dungeon. I decided to explore it for a while. Interestingly enough, all I encounted here were plaques on the wall with funny sayings on them. I did learn a thing or two however. There were also plaques with items sitting in front of them. Naturally, I took the items. I found these great pants, sort of a costume or something. Really warm.

I found some ninja guy in a side passage. He challenged me, I just kicked him in the nuts. The next guy who tried to stop me, I just got him drunk. The last guy put forth some silly challange, about taking a pebble from his hand. Didnt I see this somewhere before? I took the pebble and laughed at him. They all bowed down and told me I was amazing. I walked out.

Well, this was a long, interesting day. I think its time to make camp and go to bed.